I'd known him forever
he'd known me for longer
I though of him as a brother
he thought i was cute
we grew up together
he was my brothers friend
not mine to talk to
but i never did fight
for his attention or care
he was just always there
i always thought of him as a brother
then one day he spent the night
and stole my innocence
when i was just 12.
I didnt want it
He was 17 but
i trusted him i didnt struggle
he knew the real me
i thought he cared
but he didnt he just wanted sex
he knew it hurt
but he didnt care
it didnt bother him
i was just there
i was scared to death
when i woke up the next day
scared to move
scared to breathe
but i move freely now
because he lost more
than i ever will
he lost his life
when my brothers gang killed him
i hope he felt guilty
i hope he went to hell
he ruined my life
put fear into it
and ill always have that inner cringe
knowing that he didnt care
 
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