i just wanted you to know..

none of this is pleasant.
no, none of this is nice.
watching friendships fade away
while i’m slipping on thin ice.

and if only i could reach myself,
i would give myself a hand.
i would stop this life from ending.
i would find a place to stand.

it’s getting late and i am bleeding
from a hole inside my chest.
and i hope you knew i meant it
when i said you were the best.

you’re the finger on the trigger.
you’re the foot against the gas.
it’s not your fault i’m shattering.
i made myself of glass.

oh, please don’t blame yourself,
though i may blame you in the end.
go on, search for things you need
and drop me as a friend.

these days, i’m always writing.
my wrist is always sore.
but i can never get it right
you're my best friend and you've shut the door.

i compare perfection
to all the things i miss.
you standing in the hallway
running up to her
passing me right by.
as i look at you you dont even notice
the tear falling from my eye.
you have no idea how much it hurts
to see this every day.
right here in this moment i want so much to just die
instead of waiting for it to be all okay
and face another lie.

i would do anything to please you,
but it seems so hard to do.
did I ever make you happy?
i was so happy there with you.

please promise me you love me.
just please don’t ever let me go.
i’ve never been this lost before.
i just wanted you to know.
 
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