don't even know where to begin
in telling you how much
I love you,
the things I have gone through
to get to feel this way,
the things I have done
to finalize my feelings
toward you; toward us.

wish I could find the words
for you as easily as I have others,
maybe how I feel for you
is so much more,
and that much more complicated.

could go on in telling you
how I felt the day I met you,
the day you first called me,
our first date,
and the day you asked me out-
we each have our own version
and analysis of those.

I have gone through,
in my head,
every single one
of my past relationships,
(even the ones that
could have been
but never were,)

but it came to me as I sat
on the kitchen table,
clenching napkins and
catching tears
while my mother put her arm
around me and told me
it was okay to feel what I felt for you.
I told her
I just wanted to get things right
for once.
She told me that, with you,
I already had things right.

It came to me as I cried
out all of my lost feelings
towards my trapped confusions
about other guys,
finally realizing that I'd rather
be loved the way you love me,
treated the way you treat me,
looked at the way you look at me.
 
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