it's infectious
it's painful, it's horrible, it's this sharp shooting
feeling.
but at the same time, i love it more than anything.
when you smile, when you laugh.
that look in your eye.
it fucking hurts so much
but i love it more than anything.

i can only imagine that this is like an endless needle digging deeper into
my vein.
What's on the other end isn't important.

but i didn't want it to mean this much to me.
i didn't want it to grow out of proportion like a beautiful cancer.

because it's too much like a drug.
too much like some amphetamine which i would learn to regret later.

and i already have.
 
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