I can’t remember that time when I had a life
When everything was okay
Never did I imagine things would turn out
This way
I can’t remember when I was innocent
No time when I wanted to commit
Everything has changed so much
Since that life
Now I’m just a screw up.

Did I ever used to think like this?
Was there ever a time when I could take it?
Been too long since
And I can’t even remember
Have I ever before been clever?

My whole life depends on that knife
That is tightly gripped in my hand
This life revolves around that knife
That will ruin everything I planned.

Crying continuously over what I’ve become
I want to turn it into
Something numb
As this knife touches my flesh
These thoughts will finally
Be put to rest
Over again they will come back to haunt me
Making sure I stay
What I have come to be.

Seeing what the future beholds
Still feeling this steel very cold
Blood streaming from my wrist
Releasing all the emotional pain
Someday again it will gain.

Thinking about how much I want to die
How much I wish I weren’t a lie
Band-aids trying to hide everything
The scars, the blood, my misery.
Again tomorrow I’ll see the knife
Will tomorrow, I end my life?*

 
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