You express me differently then I
Express myself…a difference in our demons is my only defense
Embracing what little tact I have left to possess…
Is what makes the way I survive a little less amusing
If I was dressed in leather they would notice my stumble and my
Sway a little more so each time…and soon we would uphold
One another’s character, the things that find their way of
Escaping you engage me…and I feel a little less together when I am
Confronted with your energy in such a way that all your glances find their
way to pull me…pull me over to the corner of the bar where you tear me apart
piece by piece and find it harder each time you see me to approach that
night on the balcony…after which I wore your smile for days…and saw the
little girl that resides
Inside you behind your breath~~~and this baby is where I falter~~~I begin to
break and forget that sometimes it’s ok just to bend~~~when I stand just
because it’s next to you...and I am smoking just so that I may inhale you….I
sit and I exhale and I remember the way you cradled me briefly….and outline
the memory verbally…because the best visuals are sometimes drawn with
words….and I lay it down on my paper because it’s not so safe to say….and I
know that you will hear me when I choose to walk away

Untouchable…with one glance I revert to a place
Where my name and face were so fucking expressionless…only this time I can
see you quietly and simply standing beside me and I wonder why…this
contorted image has set me free~~~~
Inaccessible to my imagination….I lay myself on the line and shift beneath
each layer of your voice as I compromise myself knowing that even your tone
fascinates me~~~
Complicated…I acquaint myself with the worth I have attained throughout the
brief duration of our casualty and find myself questioning what motivated
you to place me under the fluorescent light…stumble my way and provide me
with a kiss goodnight~~~
Stashing these remnants into the corner of my mind…
I will dust them in due time…
And place weight on my sigh…pour myself a drink and sit inside the middle of
myself
To do nothing more than think~~~~
Pondering perplexity…I focus on the inspiration your autonomy has handed me
And I critique my actions as I fall through its fingers…so damn
willingly~~~
Brushing up against each and every backwards glance on my way down…I find it
not so easy to separate myself from your intrigue…

When I stand just because it’s next to you…and I am smoking so that I may
inhale you…I sit and I exhale and I remember the way you cradled me
briefly…and I outline the memory verbally ….because the best visuals are
sometimes drawn with words..and I lay it down on my paper…because it’s not
so safe to say~~~I know that you will choose to hear me when I walk away.

~Megan
4-03-03

 
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