I look around
All alone
I look at the fire around my heart
My tears sizzle on my face
I cry for help
No one hears
Left alone
So alone so
So many tears
Darkness takes my last breath
Hung myself in the shower
Hope mom sees
Hope she finally cares
Hope dad cries
There goes his baby girl
Hope my sister, Deanna sees
And opens her eyes
And sees the suffering me
I wanted my teenage years
I wanted my fun
But death drove me to it
My heart was all alone
Yeah, sure I had friends
And they supported me with their air
But I wanted my own air
I wanted to breathe on my own
I didn’t last that long I guess
I drowned in my fear
I was scared I wasn’t welcomed
I was surrounded by death
No one wanted to hear me
They didn’t dare to see me
I played my part
Happy
Silly
Funny
Goofy
All the things I acted as
But this wasn’t my true heart
This wasn’t my true self
Hung myself in the shower
No more pain after that hour
I dressed myself nice for everyone
I wrote my own death poem
I wrote down my burial plans
Mom knew I wanted to be burned
She knew what I wanted to happen
So I shrug at their tears
Yeah,
Show your love now
I yell at them
I made sure they saw all my scars
The scars that represented my pain
That scar on my wrist
I can’t believe you believed that lie!
I told you I traced it to show al the people it was a real K!
When I went through my pain
No one was there
You thought if I took my med. I would be better
The med. addicted me to my cutting
And you took me off of them
I haven’t gone to therapy now have I?
I was supposed to be wasn’t I?
I needed to didn’t I?
But now I am dead
In your shower
Don’t worry
I was dead long before this
I had died so long ago
My heart wasn’t made of blood and muscle
It was made of stone
You helped me build that heart
And now I have broken free
I killed myself
Freed myself
From the pain around me
I say good bye in this poem
And so long to the people around me…

 
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