I wish I could be a little kid again.
I would give anything to feel so free, like I used to.
But I don’t anymore.
I’ve grow and so has my pain.
I see things for what they truly are now,
Life is not just made of rainbows and games.

My child eyes have passed,
And so has all they saw.
The blue skies, the green grass, the shapes in the fluffy white clouds.
The colors of the flowers are gone, the sweet dew that kissed the grass in
the morning as I ran outside to play.
They are no more and now I see that the dew is just tears on the dead lawn
of life.

The sunny days of running in the woods, the shade beneath the tree,
They have left and now the sun has turned to rain,
The cold rain of misery.

No longer the laughing child, that tumbled and rolled in the grass,
Now just a cold careworn teenager,
Who only wishes to be able to return to her past.

Icy coldness flows through my veins,
I don’t even know myself anymore.
When did I lose my dreams?
Maybe it was when I realized the world for all that it is,
And that nothing is really what it seems.

God or the devil,
People ask me to choose.
Well what about neither?
I am lost and abused.

The glass-like reflection of the pond is shattered by the drops of rain.
All that was seen is now broken and drifted away.
All that was clam and now uprooted and heaving,
The earth is heaving beneath my very feet.
My life is that pond that the serenity no longer keeps.

Fall face first into the water and see what lies beneath.
Comfortably numb in all that’s taken place in absence of the sun.
Feel the coldness as it creeps.
Breathe in the darkness as you sink beneath.
Feel the darkness as it envelops your soul.
Know for a fact that you will never again be whole.

I’m lost beyond hope,
There will be no healing with time.
Look over at the me hidden beneath the tree and think to yourself,
“Oh, the poor thing, looks like she’s been scarred for life”

The water fills my lungs,
I cannot breath,
Nothing at all.

I can’t think about it,
It hurts so badly,
I can’t come to grips with the truth.
The truth that it’s over and there is nothing I can do.

For everything that I’ve been though,
For it all, I blame you.
You burned hatred into me,
Took away my innocence,
Made it so that I could no longer see.

Please tell me how on earth I am supposed to sleep,
With these visions of you in nightmares that make me weep?

Please tell me why I am here,
Explain to me this life and all that I fear.
I can’t fake this smile,
I can’t take the pain.
I need you to hold me, stop the hurting.
I can’t remember anything from before this,
Just to know to be a child again is my one and only wish.
Stop me from falling, I am sinking below,
The pictures and memories fade,
The words crumple and drift away.

I will fly with them,
I cannot stay here,
Anymore,
Consumed by thoughts of pain and the dark that draws near.
Free into the galaxy, the comets fly and the stars gleam,
Maybe this wasn’t meant for me,
But now that I am gone,
It flows so naturally.

So maybe the past I cannot have,
But to at least be gone from the wasteland of earth,
That is all I need.

And now with one stroke of the clock and one other thing,
I will float slowly away.
Now held so dear in the true ones arms,
Safe from the betrayal and all that from others.
I have found my safe haven.

 
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