I go through those white doors,
Once again I feel the tears I must hold back,
Once again,
I am at this entrance that I dred,
Once again I wish I could run,
And never come back,
Once again I wish this is a nightmare,
And I’ll awake with a smile on my face.
But once again,
I know this is not a dream I’ve dreamt,
But a fear,
That never ends.

Will It never go away,
Will I always find myself in this place,
The fear that brought me to the door,
The same fear,
That wishes I won’t come back anymore.

I once again sit in that office,
Waiting to be called,
Once again,
I sign my name in,
And sit down,
Shaking,
Wanting to be gone.

Like wise,
No one wants to go there,
But my reasons,
Are of dispair,
Those numbers, the nusrse says,
Will they keep going up?
Or finally go down again?

Traumatic past mistakes,
Don’t go away,
My anorexia I held,
Is causing me future pain.
Bringing me an unknown diagnosis,
Looked at as crazy,
Distained as insane.

Will I have to once again,
Walk through those doors,
Hear more words,
And leave
Uncured?
Once Again……..



 
Copyright © dalilpoet, All Rights Reserved