I wander through this endless winter night
Near midnight, frightened and alone
Spinning past these forever turning shadows
Lost in my forsaken memory
of things that should remain but dreams.
As I stare at countless spider webs
And the black rose petals
that have fallen from my fingers
Bitter sorrows—quickly fleeing
Dancing through the burning skies—
Remorse.

What happened to the cloud-strewn rainy night?
Starless, yet it glittered anyway
I leave behind my hopes for peaceful freedom
Receding to the cooler, darker shores
Walking in a daze, gentle water at my feet
from the ocean so vast
and despairing nonetheless
I welcome this despondency,
As a change to the old dull course
But in a moment, the ocean has left me:
I’m back in the meadow of my dream.
Running through the cold, damp grass
Barefoot, hand in hand with simple bliss
Just like we did last spring!
(Do you remember that spring?
Or did you forget,
just as you’ve forgotten me?)

Then I reach the end of the open field
Arise from the dream to awake in nothingness.
Nothing left,
Not even the shadows, mere darkness to embrace,
would come to comfort me.
Solitude was but a sneering friend
Consoling at once but then bitter and cold
Nothing to touch and no one to hold
So what happened to the angel of my dreams? I asked.
The lurking light, always in the background of my mind
in the lonely hours of sleep.
But no, I’m left alone
And desolate, no strength to weep.

I will not let myself sink; I won’t bear to fail
And in one leap, I emerge from the nothingness
To awake in a world I had never seen
Slinking shadows crawled and creeped,
The darkness reached out an arm.
Strange that I felt welcomed here, comforted and consoled
An eerie voice whispered in my ear,
“There’s no escape from here.”
So I followed a shadow
into a corner of gloom,
where I rested my mind for a while
Once again my thoughts found something new,
And my spirit left my body behind.
“Freedom!” it cried, yet gently at the time.
Turning an hourglass in my hand,
I could fly free for a while.
So I sailed through the skies of this new world
As daylight and darkness switched with themselves,
Interchangeably.

Don’t ask me now—I’d like to know
Perhaps it’s best to be unknown
Why the spinning spirits of this strange underworld
acted so:
Turned to images of my past and future
Of thoughts—abstract to me
Pictures of the symbols
That would someday cross my mind

Slow, dancing twilight
Another cloud-filled night
Soft rain now falling in my eyes
Invoking my yearned-for peace.
I’m standing on a high stone cliff
Amidst the sullen sky that I so love
Why does this desolation appeal to me so?
Why must I push myself into despair,
and bitter emptiness?
Farther and even deeper down
But I miss the meadows in the springtime,
Dreary yet joyous still.
And now the rocky cliff dissolves:
I’m yet again on the ground,
But not in the shadow world.
It’s a forest clearing,
With trees that whisper to me on all sides
I look up to the sky and the clouds slightly part
To make room for the moon,
Full and bright.

 
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