What would you see if you looked through the tears
of my soul? Truthfully, I don’t know all that I inside of
me that I hide. I will spill my tears on you now.
Through short words I will try to explain… myself.

I am lucky. I am surrounded by love. Sometimes I feel that
I don’t deserve the people I have and know. I don’t deserve people
who want to help me through hard days. There are friends and family
that I love. With my whole heart and would do anything for. I cry
to them now… but these are not sad tears. I give them
my tears of hope and most importantly, love.

Anger comes when I am ignored… when my words seem to mean
nothing. Strong tears come to me when I want to yell. I let
things build up inside of me. I know this is wrong but I can’t help it.
I cry out my hate and anger and say… “Why wont you listen??
Does what I say matter? Not to you it doesn’t. You are too self centered
to hear my reasons. I am crying inside wishing you could hear me.
Yet I hide it. I pretend to be strong. When I speak out no matter
what I say you aren’t hearing me. You don’t want to hear me!
You only want to hear yourself! I don’t hear you now.
I don’t want to care anymore. No, I don’t.” Times like these
I’m forced to be wrong.

I make it through music. So much can be expressed with one song. I don’t
know where I would be without music. When I am listening
to my music, or playing an instrument, I can think.
I can take time to breathe and that is important.
Things are happening in my life… and sometimes I forget
to breathe. During this time of relaxing and music,
I cry my relaxed tears. The tears that come for
no reason, except to fall.

I don’t regret things. I won’t let myself. When I speak, I mean
What I say. Why regret things? What you have done,
Is gone. When you let things get to you it eats away at you
Making things worse than they need to be.

I have faith. I know in the end things will be okay. I believe
That God has a reason for everything that happens, good or bad.
It’s hard to describe my faith.
Most importantly, I believe in God.

 
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