did it make you happy to leave all the time?
did it make you feel bigger to hurt us?
did it make you feel good to sleep with that whore?
did it make it better that you didnt know her?
or was it better cause she paid you?
did it bother you that she gave you an STD?
did it even phase you when you gave it to mom?
even after that, how could you lie to her?
not tell her that you did it
not tell her that you slept with another woman
did you think it would work,
to skip the lie dectector test?
did you think she wouldnt know,
if you didnt admit to it?
did any of it bother you?
all that you did,
were you even ashamed?
or is that why im not supposed to know?

if you were ashamed,
why couldnt you jsut repent?
if you were ashamed,
should you have admited to it,
so you could move on?
but you didnt.
you lied,
and lied again,
and again,
refused to get tested,
as if that made you innocent,
we already knew
it all added up,
the repeated visits out of town
the repeated "business calls"
you stopped going to church
you stopped talkin to mom
all the sudden you were nice
all the sudden you were buyin us all gifts
or maybe that means you were ashamed and tryin to make up for it.
was that supposed to make up for it?
all the pearls from china?
you probably bought them with her,
i bet she picked them out,
i bet she got a pair too.
i saw her in the pictures
you had me pick them up for you
you went out to dinner with her and her parents
her whole family was there
your arm was around her
you were smiling
big
you didnt look ashamed!
you looked happy
ive never seen you happy like that with mom!
maybe you werent ashamed..
just embarrassed that you got caught...

 
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