we've struggled to survive
crying every night
emotionally poor
yet richer than many
materially more that most
yet inside we're empty
with all this money,
we cant buy love
love of the family,
was not lost,
but never exsisted.
not torn apart,
cause it was never
connected.
we never talked
only argued
never hugged
never shook hands
never showed any emotion
sure we said i love you's
but never really meant it.
it was only for show
so everyone else didnt see
what happened when it was just the five of us.

we've struggled to survive
crying every night
emotionally poor
yet richer than many
materially more that most
yet inside we're empty
with all this money,
we cant buy love
love of the family,
was not lost,
but never exsisted.
not torn apart,
cause it was never
connected.

he never said a word
till he wanted something done
he never asked it done specific way
just expected us to know
never let us do it different
for ithat was always wrong
he never let us think
unless it was in his words
never let us be
unless it was in his comands
the only thing...
we never knew it was wrong
we didnt have to be his puppets
we didnt have to be his slaves
we didnt have to worship him
we didnt have to listen to his screaming
or all those awful words
we didnt even have to stay...
but we did

we've struggled to survive
crying every night
emotionally poor
yet richer than many
materially more that most
yet inside we're empty
with all this money,
we cant buy love
love of the family,
was not lost,
but never exsisted.
not torn apart,
cause it was never
connected.

its been seven-teen years now..
and im still in this cage
still hearing the screaming
still worshiping this name
still trying to survive
still trying to hold on
i just keep telling myself..
only one more year
but thats another year of pain
another year of crying
another year of controling
another year of dying...
what if i dont make it
what if i give in
i amost did four times now..
almost cut too deep
i couldnt let myself do it
what would they all say
they dont even know how i feel
im the one the lean on
im their support
what would they do if their shoulder was gone
ive struggled for so long
maybe i should get some help
or maybe i should leave...
but that wouldnt solve my problems
but really what can...?
 
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