So much of me
Wants to let go again
Lose all control
Back to my happy place
No other care
No other worry.

I hate promises
They’re never kept
Lie after lie
Cut after cut
More and more stress
Fills me up.

Every time I look
Into the scars
I realized they’ve never healed
It’s still apart of me
And there’s no way out.

Haunting me every second
Telling me I’m still nobody
And to feel no stress
One cut I must make.

Months without
Inflicting this pain
Has only created
More stressful hate
I need to get rid of it
I want all to end.

The razor and me
Interact with each other
Picking it up
Setting it down
Which path to take?
A few scratches?
Or a stab and slice?
Answerless questions
Run through my mind.

I’ve made my choice
No more control
Picking up what I now like to call
My long lost friend.*

 
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