I'm not suicidle or willing to die.
I'm the kind of person who fights to stay alive.
But sometimes I wonder,
What it would be like if my life became a blur.

What if I didn't make it to school for a day, a week, a month, a year?
Who would call with wonder and fear?
What would go through their head,
When they saw what the obituary read?

What would they think,
If they saw my parents slowly sink?
Who would respectfully come to my funeral?
And who would come just to cleans their soul?

Who would cry and who would rejoice?
Who would show compasion in their voice?
Who would regret their last words and thoughts?
And who would think of them as a bundle of knots?

Who would have me in their memory?
And who would say it was my destiny?
Who's hearts would slowly wilt?
And who's thoughts would be filled with guilt?

If my parents went through my stuff, what would they think?
Would they see all the names and letters and connect the link?

Would they see how much I've disobayed them?
Would they see I'm no longer their sparkeling gem?
Would they say "kids will be kids"?
Or would they just silently close their lids?
 
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