When I reach through the caging darkness
My outstretched arms searching
Emptiness
Aching
For sanity's sake, I need to believe
Something is there

A glance in the bathroom mirror at night
The white of the eyes shine from some unseen light
No form to the reflection, just two balls of white glimmer
A squint reveals a faint trace of a being before the mirror
Sometimes I find it hard to believe
I'm actually real

A hop in the shower, a quick turn of a nob
The sprinkling hot water tingles across the skin and down the spine
White tiles of bland close in and curtains divide the reality outside
I wrap my arms around my naked form and stare at the lines
This is where I hide
And as I cry, I want to believe
That you really care

Soap suds and tears, try to cleanse the pain
The skin turns red and numb from the shower of burning rain
Empty tears spill from the eyes and sink down the drain
Staring down at my form, I hold the air, the pain inside until it aches
Then squeeze my arms tighter around my chest to try and stop the shakes
I wish that I could just believe
That I wont always be so dead inside

Close those eyes and suffocate
Heartbeat slows, feel the pulse of the veins
Feelings begin to fade...
Emotions slowly start to slip away...
Disappear for a moment, one moment to call my own
One moment that is truly mine...

Then the next, a gasp of shock, harsh cold reality pinches the senses
Soothing warmth has gone, vague comfort has now turned frozen
The water has become frigid
Hands fall down to the waist in defeat as I lose my grip
And as I awake and open my burning eyes, trembling
I just fucking wish that I could believe
That there's something out there worth believing
 
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