as i walk, novel in hand...

why can you
just leave me alone
i dont want to talk to you
i dont want to just listen
i dont want to hear you
i dont want to see you,
anymore.
why cant you just leave me alone
you cant read my writtings
because they're about you
it doesnt matter who else sees them
it doesnt matter who else reads them
they are my daily journal
they make up my diary
does it matter
that my life
lies in stanzas
does it make a different
that they dont start
"dear diary"
does that provide a reason
that they're out
for every human eye to see...
why cant you
just leave me alone
it doesnt matter
that im not a pro
it doesnt matter
that im your daughter
its still
my life
my heart
my mind
my thoughts
my feelings!
you dont have a reason
to read my writtings
you dont have a reason
to get inside of me
why cant you do things
the way your supposed to
why cant you, treat me
as who i am
i am an adult!
i am a human
not a book...
there is not a single page of me
for your 'deserving' hands to turn
there is not a single font of mine
that you will understand
my chapters keep multiplying
and your disappearing
slowly becoming unmentioned
as my novel gets thickens.

why cant you
just leave me alone
because you gave birth to me
wouldnt you think
that because i was your own
i would be treated better
than the rest of everyone?!
but instead
you try to force me
to rip out my heart
serve it on a tray
with a splash of my deepest thoughts
for you to absorb
for you to devour
in your relentless
thrashing fits.
you wont get far
you wont learn much
yet you will
completely memorize
the back of my head
the movement in my strides
and the sway of my hair
as i walk away
novel in hand.
 
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