i'm hurting like you are
well maybe not like you are
i show it differently
i know it differently
i certainly don't think this is all about me
i know that you expect that i cry
or i say that i hurt inside
but i'm made different than you
and i've already been hurt through
and through
and through
maybe not by you
well yeah, maybe some by you
but even before, by more than a few
i wish i could sit here and cry beside you
and die beside you
i just don't have it in me to be close to you
and wasn't that the problem -
always keeping you at distance
but didn't i tell you that it was something like this
i'm numb inside
numb outside
even numb when i'm turned inside- out
i don't know if i love you or even what that feels like
don't know if i want you or to spend the rest of my life
with you by my side
if we can't coincide
with the things we both want from this emotional tide
you want to be loved
i want to be left
are we fooling ourselves in saying what's best
that we stay together for the sake of our seed
that it breaks your heart when you think you should leave
that i'm creul and i'm cold cause i don't ever plead
for you to help me work through our sorrows
and madness
and pain
and that i don't feel like
i've gained
the one that truly understands what i'm saying
it's not that you don't get me
or you don't invite me
to love you unconditionally
but is it only on your terms?
or am i greedy and selfish for wanting a 'true love'
you're a wonderful man
but i'm not comfortable in this glove
if i loved you enough would i swallow my pride
and act out a lie
and make sure not to sigh
and never ask why
and hope you don't hear me cry in the night
cause my lonlieness is raw and real and sadly surreal
that after all this time i still don't know how i feel


 
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