Its about midnight now
Im just sitting on the couch
another night home alone
then mom walks through the door
i see tears in her eyes that she tries to wipe away
i see the pain just roll down her face
I see her try to walk and not succeed
I see her bend over like shes really old
She comes over and just sits there
opens a beer and lites a cig
Blows the smoke in my face
and tells me how bad she hurts
She leans over and tries to hug me
But i just push her away
it hurts too much to know the pain shes in
She just lost her son
and thanks to me her husbands gone for good
now she has so much pain she can barely move
shes asks for a backrub to soothe
But i say no and leave the room
Im scared to touch her, afraid she'll get hurt
afraid to show her all my love
There isnt much but i try
I usually just sit there and cry
Push myself to the limit till i want to die
Carve things in my arm
blaming it all on you
You raised me bad, you were never there
you didnt really care, you let daddy abuse me
and my brother too
Now im old enough to be able to realize
you were there
adn you did care
you were just too hurt to be able to show it
you were too broke to give us what we needed
you were to ashamed of this family to stop it
But now i know that u need which is more love then ever
and i want you to know im here
I love you mom and i do care
I just get really scared
Knowin u have cancer and your all i have
knowin u have back problems just adds on
But i will always be here even when im scared.
 
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