I have come to the conclusion
that it is impossible to please yourself
while also trying to please others,
yet I still haven't figured out
which is more important.
When I dont have my friends,
I am nothing, however,
if I dont have myself,
what do I have?
When I try to protect myself from being hurt,
I end up hurting other people.
Apparently when I dont want to be loved,
I make guys fall in love with me,
and then I end up "ripping their heart out!"
I dont understand how someone I love so much
is allowed to be so far away from me,
when they say they love me too.
I dont understand why he fell out of love with me.
and I REALLY dont understand
why so many guys
are falling in love with me
when I dont even try to make them,
yet no matter what I do,
I can never make him love me!
I know that words mean nothing,
but if you'd let me,
I'd show you how much I love you.
I dont care about your imperfections,
I dont care that you dont feel the same way,
I just want you to hear me out.
I dont want to be confused anymore!

April 2, 2004

This was a journal entry of mine from a while ago, but it seems to fit my
feelings now, so I added it.
 
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