Inside
By: TJ DeVeney



Living life in the fast lane, nothing inside but the guilt and pain,
Looking toward tomorrow, for something new, something to gain.
Thinking of the past, and the permanent scares,
Remembering the days of my parents as I stare into the stars.

Now that you’re gone, there’s so much that I need to say,
Where are you now, I’m going the wrong way.
Why did you have to leave, do you know how much you’ve changed me,
Mom, as I saw you lying there, I turn to God with a heart filled plee.
“Pray TJ, He’ll hear your prayer” but know it was all just a lie,
Gone before I could blink, no farewell, or simple good by.
My life is gone, walking air, with nothing inside.
No one can understand, I can’t just let go, that it’s always there,
You’re gone, gone for good, now I do care.
Baring the guilt of the way I treated you, the grief I caused you,
Closing my eyes, and seeing you cry, not knowing what to do.
How to let you know, that you were great, giving all you could, not good
enough,
Always asking and needing more, begging for all new stuff.
Sad because you couldn’t get, though you always tried,
And with you gone, a big part of me has died.
I would have gave anything to keep you with me,
Nothing and no one can replace you, but took your death to see.
If I could just turn back time, back to that day,
I would thank you for what you did, and apologize to try to make things
okay.
But knowing that I can’t, as I chock back, holding in the tears,
I’m sorry I failed you; I gave up, and ran from my fears.
Believing you are with me, lighting up my way,
I know I’ll see you again; we’ll be together soon, some day.
 
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