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Contemplations
07/19/2003 @ 5:55am
By:
velvetskies

Do I know what I want in my life
Have I decided on my fate
Or does God have His own plan
Is there something I hide from myself
Is there a land I have yet to see
Do I ignore the truth
And believe in a lie
Is what I have now what I will have later
What I do now, does it reflect on my future
Do I have my life here with me now
Or do I keep turning the real thing down
Because of my own selfishness
Did I leave my real life behind me
Is it in another world
Another universe
I made a promise to walk throughout this universe
To walk through it and look for a piece of my past
When I lost it
I have lost it, do I search for it
Or is life supposed to be this way
I have a treasure now
I have a keepsake
I have a love, a life
But is it real
Does my trail to the future wait behind me
Do I continue to draw myself away from it
I feel confusion in me
Not knowing the difference between whats right
And whats wrong
At night I prowl my thoughts, feeding upon greed like prey
Taking what I want, and leaving what I need behind me
Then later regretting it
I fall from grace, into this puddle of pity
Where I scream curses and rip my hate out
Taking reality with it
At night, I live a fairy tale
But dread its outcome at dawn
I turn again from reality itself
I’ve come face to face with fact and fiction
But both are labeled as fiction
Both are labeled as fact
Is this a choice I make on my own will
Do I listen to my confused heart
That thinks these thoughts rarely
But deeply
My mind contemplates
And it bleeds memories
It cries meanings
It gives answers
What I have now is what I need


 
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