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SUICIDE TOOLS
09/09/2004 @ 5:50pm
By:
warrenslater

It's down to this,
my strength is gone.
I've lost my faith,
And I can't hold on.
The pills they seem too weak,
To ever end this pain.
So in my hand I hold the bottle,
And dump it down the drain.
The gun, although successful,
Seems to be too fast.
Although it will end the suffering,
I want the pain to last.
I want to feel all I deserve,
To cry until my eyes run dry.
To feel the searing endless pain
Until a second before I die.
And so I turn to my one last hope:
The shining bloodless knife;
The one that sits so carelessly,
The one to end my life.
I pick it up, so gentle.
Hold it, shining, in my palm.
Then bring it to a point on my wrist,
Ignoring the voice that screams This is wrong.
I'm sorry mom and dad,
But I jsut can't face this day.
Being held to such expectations,
To be perfect in every way.
I take the knife and rip it,
From left to right, it sears.
I scream in silent agony,
Hold back the salty tears.
The next cut is twice as deep.
And the screaming, twice as loud.
But no one to hear, I'm all alone.
So glad that no one's around.
Now my arm is numbing,
And I slowly unclench my fist.
Knowing the end will soon be near,
I start slashing at my wrist.
The blood comes pouring out,
Uncontrollable, I start to cry.
Another cut, I can see the bone.
Maybe I don't want to die.
Then I think of all the pain
The hate that fills my life.
Anger floods my tired eyes,
And again I clutch the knife.
Ripping through my wrist again,
I'm starting to get dizzy.
The room is slowly spinning,
There's no one left to miss me.
Slicing at my life,
I'm slipping to the floor,
My blood is cold and wet,
It's seeping through the door.
My eyes are slowly shutting,
The pain is almost gone.
I wish I could have lived my life,
I wish I could have been strong.
One more cut will do it,
Will end this pitiful life.
And so with shaky hands,
I hold the blood drenched knife.
My wrist is ripped apart,
It's the last thing that I see.
Bloody and torn, it stands as a symbol,
Of the person I could never be.
Lying on the ground and soaked with blood,
I whisper my goodbyes.
My suicide tool clatters to the floor,
And I bravely close my eyes.
 
Copyright © warrenslater, All Rights Reserved


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