Here I sit
Still
While the rage builds
Warmth flows
Thru my body
Coming in waves
Hotter and hotter
To the point of
Needing escape
Seeing the shine of metal
And hearing it slowly tearing my skin
In one desperate motion
I see the yellow flesh
Peeled back
As blood pours out
Gathering like a flash flood
Pooling down the slice
Dripping to the floor
With eyes closed
My head rolls back
And I relax
Tension seems to melt away
With each crimson droplet
But this is short lived
I must do it again
So I do
But just a little deeper
Longer
Closer to the vein
Just to feel
To feel alive
I never understood that
Flirting with suicide to survive
Seems futile
Why not just do it
Commit suicide
Make my pain go away
Forever
I would not hurt anymore
Who will care
No one
So that is what I have done
As you read this
I lay on the floor
My arms spread
Palms up, with pools of blood
Half dried and unconscious
Falling deeper asleep
As my breath grows shallow
My eyes open
But it is too late
My lungs deflate
And I am no more
My last thought is
Have I made the right choice
Or am I merely
A fool
The choice is yours to make

casandra o'brien


 
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