I can feel myself slipping
Into a pit of self loathing
of seething self hatred
And a churning mass of self pity
Constant thoughts of worthlessness mixed in with the brew and the ponderings
of death and wondering who would cry at my funeral.
I can feel it, this hatred consuming me, warping my mind and destroying
whats left of my self esteem and in its place this empowering but
debilitating feeling
oh how i want to be noticed and recognized and loved and cherished by
someone other than "him" but at the same time oh how i want to
disappear and wallow in this seething churning mass of self hatred and pity.


I can feel myself slipping, over the edge and down to rock bottom
I feel gravity pulling me down but i refuse to totally let go and fall into
depression. This bitter angry girl inside urges me to give in, but that
twisted self hatred still has me petrified and I can't seem to move,
either up or down.
 
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