I used to be jealous when you said you were with her

… But you told me everything.

I used to be sad when u said u kissed them

But you told me everything.

I used to be angry when u told me about the smell of their hair

But you told me everything… and I listened.

Then everything changed.

And you told people about how u were with me

And I was happily in love.

U told other people about kissing me.

And I was happily in love.

U dreamed about the smell of my hair

And I was happily in love.

In love with your smile

In love with your voice

In love with your kisses

In love with your heart

In love with you loving me.

Then everything changed.

Suddenly I was crying at night because I heard you were with her

But you kept a shield to me.

I cried because u kissed them

But u kept a shield to me.

I cried because u loved the smell of their hair

But u kept a shield to me.

A shield of emotional knives

A shield of tears

A shield that couldn’t be broken

A shield of pure forgotten love

For me.

I never stopped being hurt when you were with her

Did you?

Then everything changed.

I listen when u tell me you’re with them

And I reply.

I listen when u tell me u kissed them

And I reply.

I listen to the way their hair blows in the breeze

And I reply.

A reply without jealousy

A reply without sadness

A reply without anger

But not a reply with happiness.

A reply with nothingness.

For you have drained me of any feelings for you

Until I am immune to you;

Until I listen and am glad you can trust me again.

But I continue to reply with nothingness,

A strong, steady, unbreakable, predictable, nothingness.

 
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