On the pain of desire, consuming my ev'ry thought,
Retaining what I've been told, and all I've been taught.
I let it take over my life, it turns my mood sour
I try to push it from my mind, but I get worse ev'ry hour.
Why let it control me so? Why not just let go?
Because I'm stubborn and jealous, but don't let it show.
So instead it boils up inside, increasing each day
Until ev'ry so often, pain comes out to play.
And I am forced to give in, if only for a time,
But those few hours or days, misery is mine.
Til I push it away, lock it up, shut it out,
Where a now empty place can continue boiling about,
Refill hidden sorrow and grief, once again add on the dirt,
The pain makes its way to the top, threatening to hurt
Until I erupt once again, just like times before,
I need to stop this volcano before it hurts me some more.

*Dec 03*
 
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