Question
I miss the life I had
I guess it wasn’t all that bad
I did have a dad
Even though he always made me mad
Was it really bad?
You tell me
When you’re done reading
I didn’t understand
How he could hit me like a grown man
I am his son
Not the only one
Or the favored one
But the oldest son
I hope I was always there
Even when I was scared
For my brother or my mother
I don’t know if they ever told me
If I was doing what was right
When I decided to fight
What was going on
All I know is that it was wrong
Of him
To put me in the position
Now he wonders how I can hate him
Is it that hard to understand?
The fear I get when he raises his hand
Not knowing what was next
Or what to expect
To come in my life
It was always a fright
I never slept at night
If I didn’t feel safe
This is where I am to this day
I go every night with out sleep
I don’t make a peep
I just lay my head
Down on my bed
Some nights I wish I were dead
That thought hasn’t crossed my mind
In a long time
I know what I want to have
I need it so bad
It’s like this dream I had
Long ago
I wish I could know
What to do to get through this
I don’t want to get him pissed
I know what comes next
After you’re mad at me
For something I said
I guess I made mom mad?
Jeez dad
Can’t I get a break?
We all make mistakes
What did I even do to you?
Do you know what you put me through?
If you have a reason for this
Tell me with words not your fist
Can we agree to this?
When I get mad I want to fight back
Or go further with a gat
Can you accept that?
If you can’t
Take a minute and think this through
It’s me verse you
I want nothing to do with you
Now I’m through
What did I prove
By standing up to you
I don’t know about that
But I do know I made myself proud
By standing up for myself
When I was scared
So there
I’m done
 
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