I find myself looking into the mirror.
And I'm disappointed by what I see.
I see a girl with excess skin.
And this girl is me.
I look up and down.
Frowning at whats there.
This is when I want to go away.
To just disappear.
I'm haunted by my image.
I must see it everyday.
And with peoples expressions
I know what they want to say.
They want to tell me I'm fat.
But that I already know.
If only I could change my look.
My self esteem wouldnt be so low.
Diet pills and excercise.
It don't work for me.
Because all this excess skin
Is still here for me to see.
My weight is 105,
And its all made up of fat.
Why am I like this?
I want to be thinner than that!
A thought crosses my mind
That I should puke some more.
More than last night.
And more than before.
When I walk by the kitchen.
I crave the food inside.
But I don't give in.
I think of the thin thoughts in my mind.
At dinner, when I am forced to eat.
I stare at the greasy doom.
And once I finish eating,
My next choice is that room.
I lean over the rim.
Consume all my pain.
And I see the food.
For one more time again.
The after taste is gross.
So is the residue.
I do this for myself.
Not to hurt you.
I brush my teeth.
Still tasting the horrid things.
Hoping and wishing.
That someday I'll be thin.
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