the word confidant used to signify something of magnitude,
and the contemplation of you brought a grin to my facade,
i grasped the actuality,
i had someone to prop my demised heart on,
someone to admire,
someone to reveal the enigma to my soul,
but you were never genuinely heartfelt.

the infatuation I held toward you was never really real,
the facsimile of my core proscribed everything about me,
and the expressions you gave
were never really genuine,
you were never genuinely heartfelt.

the attraction you have to me isn’t anything real,
it isn’t anything worth it, its not anything you should feel
whether you’re a friend, a foe,
your words are deep or shallow,
you took that portion of my heart with you and it will haunt you
until the love you had is proven untrue,
and the lies become your honesty,
and your heart beats to the lullaby of all the things you promised me.

you raised me to be proud,
but shame has foreshadowed my pride,
and your life lessons gave me ill reason to rebel,
and I will stand in the future,
in front of your mausoleum door,
regretting all I did that ever hurt,
all the things I lied about,
all the suffering I enabled,
you were never genuinely heartfelt.

I learned in class.
I sat in the back consuming all the things I need for my future
but my heart didn’t allow it,
my pushing and prodding never pushed me far
it never came through,
the real me sat at home in the shower
clearing off my sorrow
until I could be all that you thought me to be,
you were never genuinely heartfelt.

the attraction you have to me isn’t anything real,
it isn’t anything worth it, its not anything you should feel,
whether you’re a friend, a foe,
your words are deep or shallow,
you took that portion of my heart with you and it will haunt you
until the things you thought are proven untrue,
and the lies become your honesty
and your heart beats to the lullaby of all the things you, promised me.

through the heartbreak and betrayal
I have seemed to be strong
but the image I promote
is anything but true
and I know
it does
it hurts intensely
to be so weak I cant be
real I am fake that’s my name
the sorrow that ever follows me
will always be the only honest part left
the only part left

the attraction you have to me isn’t anything real,
it isn’t anything worth I, its not anything you should feel,
whether you’re a friend, a foe,
your words are deep or shallow,
you took that portion of my heart with you and it will haunt you
until the things you thought are proven untrue,
and the lies become your honesty,
and your heart beats to the lullaby of all the things you promised me.
 
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