The razor cuts my skin easy
I'm so used to it
i don't feel the pain (unless i want to)
and i want to see the blood
I'm so used to it
i don't notice I'm out of control
i cut one pace after another
i cant stop now
i get lightheaded
and drop the razor
blood drips from my wrist and almost hits the floor
i grab something to cover my cuts so that my parents wont see
for soon i know they'll be at my door
wondering whats wrong with me

later that night
when its time for diner
i put up a fight
and in this battle I'm the winner
i run to my room which is so full of-
sadness, hate, and gloom
i look at old pictures
and at my young sweet Innocent face
i had everything going for me
but now life a life of disgrace
i fall asleep crying
ashamed of the life i live
and i whisper to God why should i- even live
the next day
some friends of the family come over
this means i must watch what i do and be careful what i say
i put on a fake(but very convincing)- smile
and if they ever thought i was depressed
this would surely put them in denial
weeks go by like months
and months go by like years
my life is a disaster ready to unfold
on the outside i am a young girl -
happy as can be
my lies aren't so but
but more appealing to the ears than the real story
but the pain i hold within myself is that which is unbearable
for inside i am filled with-
regret,self-hate,and anger
everyone seems to know who i am
nut to me i am but a stranger
i make some very bad decisions
and get caught up in my lies
now the disaster will start to unfold

i yell and scream
my secrets are out
i am taken to the hospital
and asked not to shout
once there
i am led into a room
cold and afraid
i am stripped of all modesty i had ever known
and b/c i hadn't been so modest in- the past
no one really cared
after my mom left to speak to the doctor
i was asked some questions
then taken by the police to st.Jones
this is a place where no one wants to be this is a place full of people-
like me

after a few days there
i got mad and let my pain and anger
overflow into a knife
i wanted to get out and i wanted not to come back
so i told them what happened w/out being rude
but for the next 3 days i ate nothing but finger food

i had thought my life was over
and i wasn't sure how i felt about it
but you came and saw me every- night
and all i had to do was fight through-
the darkness
and a 6:00 i would see some light
being with you made me want to live

you and my family helped me get better
i know it was hard but I'm glad you decided to forgive
i am a new person now
you are my angel in which God did- send

read this next part carefully
for this is my vow to you
i will not go back to who i was before
and i will love you and stand by you
FOREVER





this is a true story
i am better now
and i am still in love with this man
he is my reason to live

please vote and/or comment
thanks
caris
 
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