I feel my demons coming
they are screaming deep inside
as they try to rip my soul apart
there is no place I can hide.

Coming with destructive thoughts
they are filling up my head
whispering pain into my ears
I might as well be dead.

So I go into my lonely room
I just can't fight anymore
all the rage and self-hate
I just can't seem to ignore.

Here I scream and sit in silence
so many tears flood my eyes
needing to release my inner torment
needing someone to hear my cries.

I grab the matches & a candle
as I turn off all the lights
I watch the razor cut me slowly
it's going to be another bloody night.

Too many thoughts inside my head
I no longer want to feel
as I cut my arm wide open
the outer pain is no big deal.

The blood is warm & flowing
I feel no fear or alarm
just a feeling of great relief
as my inner pain flows down my arm.

As I start feeling better
as my tears begin to dry
knowing that I've paid the price
Now I don't have to die.

People don't really understand
so I cannot tell a soul
That I have just climbed out of
my dark and private hell hole.

So I hide the cuts, put on a smile,
& tell everyone...I'm ok
Because they don't want to hear my reality
"I'm ok"...that's what they want me to say.

Some don't want to deal with
the awful truth I tell
they don't want to know the facts
about my private living hell.

I can't really blame them
from running away from me
so I just accept the way it is
I walk away and let them be.

So...I keep my demons & memories
locked way down deep inside
until they rise up again
where I can no longer hide.

I know my demons will return
bringing up all my pain
then I'll turn to my bloody razor
and do this whole thing again
 
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