Once more I await for them to piss on my grief,
never showering me with love,
I so longed to have,
but only pain is what I received.

Burnt and dying in my dreams,
this is my past, present and future,
there was never anything left,
this morbid hell never chosen to live in.

My Cracked and bleeding wounds,
now opening to let the blood flow,
the chain whips my back and I cant feel anything but my hate surging through
my body,
there is no pain,
or sadness only my hate,
anger drives me to block my other emotions out.

There is no one I can run to,
only believe in myself,
and trust in no one,
can god never grace me with a little peace.

Shortly after my question was answered,
with a quick and soundless no,
crying out why? please god why?,
and never was there an answer.

I can feel this slow death,
creeping through my soul,
just to devour another emotion I never brought out,
seeing that I am weak was the greatest pain of them all.

But no I will never be that weak again,
I will stand and fight there will be no mercy,
I will gain my life back and in the end if truly there is a god I will
prevail in my struggle.

Now years later I'm guessing that god still hasn't answered me
because I'm still sitting here all alone motionless waiting for ends
arrival,
but my end isn't coming I will have to suffer the passion of hatred,
belonging to no one,
I have nothing to live for anymore,
Please god I ask of you one more time,
Show me A sign that I'm alive.
 
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