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It Ends
03/11/2006 @ 11:18am
By:
blackstar22

Every day I see in red.
(And she’s lying on the floor)
Every night I wake up dead
(Push a chair against the door)

My time is running out.
(She can’t go on like this.)
As karma turns around.
(Like a blade against her wrist.)

Something holds me here,
(And she’s saying “I’m sorry.”)
As I’m staring in the mirror.
(“Please! Just don’t ignore me!”)

These moments are a blur
(She can’t fucking see!)
A razor is my cure.
(Righteous is to bleed.)

I’m sinking to the ground.
(Drag it through her flesh.)
And I can’t hear a sound.
(Like she really needs to guess.)

I’m losing every breath now.
(Tonight, this bullshit ends.)
So I’m giving up my life now.
(But there’s a voice inside her head.)

I’m just so sick of this fight.
(And the voice starts screaming)
So God, just take my life!
(“Just keep your lungs breathing!”)

Dear god! I’m going crazy…
(“Please! I need you alive.”)
What were you thinking when you made me?!
(“I‘m begging you not to die!”)

What the fuck is in my head?!
(“Just trust me. I know you.”)
Now I know I should be dead…
(“But you really don‘t want to”)

My whole body is shaking.
(“Please just don’t leave me.”)
And the blade is tracing…
(“It hurts to see you bleeding…”)

I put it down and take a breath.
(“I knew you’d change you mind.”)
Hands to my ears; Try to be deaf
(“Still here; I have been all the time.”)

This just can’t be real!
(“I know you still hear me.”)
Why is this all that I feel?
(“Why do you fear me?”)

There‘s a voice in my head!
Of course I’m afraid!
And what’s more to be said?
I respond to what you say!

“And dying solves this how?”
Now I’m thinking this through.
“You’re smarter than that now…”
Who exactly are you?

Why do you even care?
“You’re worth so much more.”
But it just isn’t fair…
“You have so much to live for.”

I‘m nothing but insane.
I live on my own.
This floor is my domain.
And the red is my throne.

So much to live for?
I see nothing in this!
Perhaps once before…
but that’s a life that I’ve missed.

“How do you know of your life,
When you haven’t lived it yet?
You know only your knife.
And for that, you’ll regret.

“You talk of doors that shut
But you know nothing of your words.
You died the day you first cut…
And that should be all that you’re worth.”

And I can’t help but cry
At knowing it’s true.
I know he’s right.
But it just won’t do.

I’m worth nothing, I know;
I made a drastic decision.
So I’ll end it like-so…
But blood fades from my vision.

For once I can see
Without shades of red.
But why am I free
Of my desires for death?

Tell me. Who are you?
“You know me…”
I know you?
“You love me…”

I’m laughing for I love no one.
“You will one day.”
And now I’m coming undone…
“It will be all that you say.”

Where did we meet?
“We haven’t yet.“
Then when will we?
“Fate hasn’t said.”

Where do I find you?
“I can’t be with you now.”
When will I see you?
“When you need to be found.”

Why are you leaving?
“I’ve been here all along.”
Why can’t you see me?
“The timing’s all wrong.”

I don’t see how.
Why can’t it be?
“If I meet you now…
Then I’ll never see.”

I’m beginning to sigh.
“I’m blinded by someone.”
I’ll open your eyes.
“I won’t know you‘re the one.”

But I need you now!
“Do you trust me?”
I don’t know how…
“Do you love me?”

I feel nothing but apathy.
“Do you see in shades of red?”
Not since you saved me.
“Then know that we'll meet again.”

And I’m alone with thoughts to rend.
(So what will she do?)
Suicide seems my only friend.
(And for once she doesn’t need you.)

I’m sitting in silence.
(Without voices in her head.)
I've found a new reliance...
(Tonight, the apathy ends.)
 
Copyright © blackstar22, All Rights Reserved


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