I was happy the night before last.
Then tonight the tears came, and I couldn't get them to stop.
I thought of you, your caring eyes, loving voice. I tried to fill m y head
with nothing but your love.
My anger . . . My self hate . . . Fear . . . They pushed your love to the
corner.
I could still hear it calling faintly over and over again.
I couldn't reach it and I broke.
I felt ashamed I couldn't do such a simple thing as escape my anger to get
to you.
I felt terrible . . . I gave up- I let it consume me.
The next thing I saw were The drops of blood that hit the floor.
Now the tears had been freed and they shook my body of control.
The Tears were in charge now.
They cloud my eyes- I can't see. I try to call out- They choke me!
The only thing they let me have is the pain. the razor over and over again.
I can't stop it the Tears wont let me stop.
I plead with them to let me go. I tell them I don't want to go back- I don’t
want to feel the pain. They tell me otherwise.
They say I've been without it so long, I need to be reminded of the joy I
once believed it was.
. . . The blade went deeper . . . Oh so deep. This time my screams were
heard.
Then muffled with a kiss.
I force my eyes open, ignoring the thudding pain of the Tears in my eyes.
And I meet the most beautiful set of eyes filled with nothing save for
concern and love . . . then I see my own fear reflected.
You pull me close shaking my awake.
Tears continue streaming down my face falling onto your chest.
You kiss my cheek and tell me that you love me.
I tell you that I'm sorry repeatedly, they're the only words that seem to
come from my lips as the moments pass.
Then I say I love you too and look up into your eyes.
The concern lessened, the love not.
You nod and smile. A single tear frees itself from you and it crushes me

 
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