written: Oct. 15, 2005

As autumn begins, it makes me think
If I were to speed up, would time stop for me?
Making able to descend backwards,
Erasing all the things you hate that I couldn't see

But then again, what would happen?
If I were to slow down, would you forget my existence?
No longer able to proceed forward,
Continuing to change into this person of consequence

What if July didn't even exist?
No faint whispers at the nighttime,
Whisperings of the alluring me to you,
A night of heated moonlight at our bedtime.

Would it be best for the both of us?
No regrets of the yesterdays we have.
No fallen halos to choke us on our lives.
No more questioning of the aftermath.

Wake me up when it's all over,
Put me in a deep-freezing sleep.
I'll play dead to the whole world.
They won't care, just make sure I stay asleep.

Could I meet my fate now?
The needle strings my lifeline.
How could this still be my time?
Another piece of the forming storyline.

This is my time of the year now.
If I could take back the way things were,
Would you be acceptive of my apologies?
Is that something you would prefer?

If we could freeze our time,
I would go back to the time before October,
Before things started to go awry,
Back before when you were sober.

I find my life is full question marks,
Questions marking every aspect of my unfortunate events.
Turning marks of random explanation points,
Shouting out at me of being weak and decadent.

In this duration, there are no room for ifs.
Only the essence of my being a comma,
A slight pause before the events of all my time
Only hoping for the cessation of all the trauma

But only now can we proceed with our future,
A final end, a period, being our essential suppressant,
Haulting our incoherent thoughts and images.
There is no more need for scrutinizing of the evasive precedent.
No more.
 
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