I am from Barbie dolls,
And dress-up days.
A life time of shadows and looks brought down upon me.

I’m from a child’s memories,
In secret dreams enclosed in my eyes.
From magical, imaginary friends,
Playing with me when I was sad.

The life of growing up,
Being acknowledged a teenager.
From dashing past my parents to a room of music,
Blasting hard rock to express my anger.

I am from the enclosed depression,
Placed on my shoulders.
From trying to stay alone,
Away from family.
But hearing
“Act older than her, don’t be childish.”
Because my sister was asking for it.

From the expectations of military parents,
The expectations I can not succeed in
To where I was born a mistake.
Always being told,
“You’re worthless, and never going to do anything with your life.”

I am from the apologies I give to Daddy,
Saying “I’m sorry I can’t be perfect.”
From the drama put in my life by my loved ones.
Leaving me to deal with it.

Enclosed in pages of magical places,
Wishing up stars I was someone new.
Hoping to be in the magic and away from the horror I was born into.

I am from the shadows of successors,
And not following through
With the dreams my parents cursed me with.

I am from the anger I keep locked up,
And express through wardrobe.
The piles of black make-up, clothes and nail polish,
Just to make Daddy mad.
From the bruises and scares of being a tough child
Going through drastic times.

The one boy I can hold in my arms
And say the most dreaded words spoken.
I can easily say these words with no doubt to him.
The words, “I love you.”
The secrets kept from my parents.

I am from…
“Love is not’t about finding the perfect person; it’s about seeing an
imperfect person perfectly.”

From drama,
And childhood memories only I can remember.
Wishing they still exist because after all,
Life was easier when boys had cooties.

Life was easier,
When I was a child.

 
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