I watch my veins grow blue,
My feet now frozen to this ground.
As my body remains attached to this dwindling tree,
My spirit weeping
Chimes unheard to the sunlight of day.
It chooses not to present itself to me,
I’ve committed a wrong too selfish to take back.
I don’t think I’ve moved my hands for a few hours now.
I guess that’s how it begins.

The cold never seemed to bother me.
Comfortable numb I sat,
The snowfall forming mountains
In the crevices of my body.
My legs out straight,
Hands folded in a praying position.
Maybe I was praying for it to work –
For no one to find me
No one to save me.
Maybe I was hoping to be taken away,
To be abducted into a world,
Where my real spirit lives –
If I try real hard,
I can almost see me.
I’m smiling and laughing,
Medication free.

My eyes are shut,
But I can feel the gray of the night closing in on me.
I hear the urgency in my father’s voice,
The choked back sobs of my mothers.
The sun sets slowly, I welcome the darkness.
After all, it’s just another night.
I’m going to sleep.

 
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