I'm wondering just how I came to be
So shy, so sad, so lost, so quick to drink
Cause I'm not sleeping like I used to sleep
And I'm not thinking how I used to think


I'm finding that I stay up way too long
All hours that I spend doing nothing
I use to think of all that I've done wrong
I'm using them to keep away morning


I wonder how it is that I don't say
The many things I expect you to know
My best conclusion is that I'm afraid
Angry beats unquestionably alone


When I can, I take time to tell myself
That I'm surprised how stupid I can be
To think I meant something to someone else
How stupid that it meant something to me
(**How stupid that it means so much to me)


And so this is the way my life will go
I'll always want the thing I don't deserve
I fall so hard and land so very low
The bottom that I hit is what I've earned

10/02/06
 
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