Moving on, slowly one day at a time, sometimes one moment at a time. Opening
up once again, wondering if I should hide behind the walls that once were
built. Feeling that tug of longing, the need to take a chance slapping me in
the face. Determined at this point to remain on the path of slow and steady.
I don't like to rush. I prefer sensibility to sentiment for the most part.
My mind and body seem to be in agreement for once though, that is a new
thing for me . Normally my body is calling out one thing and my mind another
all together. I'm picky, I'm a bit on the cautious side when it comes to my
emotions. I feel so deeply that I can get lost in the emotions if I am not
extremely careful about it. I toOK the weekend and hid, I thought long and
hard about where I am and if I was ready to take the chance of changing it.
I discovered that for the first time in my life I am not afraid. The chance
that I am taking is a good thing. The thoughts that I am having are normal
... I've been completely honest and I haven't tried to sugar coat any of my
past or any of my emotions. Tremendous risk there I know but I prefer the up
front in your face here it is method to the ok I'll tease you with this for
a bit one. Eyes wide open, mind open, what will be will be. I know that I am
the worlds worst spokesperson for putting things behind you but I am ready
to move on. I have waged a war with what I can not change for long enough.
It's time to begin again. Whether it brings pain in the end or happiness
it's a risk that I am taking....
 
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