I can't seem to decipher
What is wrong from what is right
Who is the judge of this
How are they so sure
This is what I need tonight

What feels right
Is what makes everything wrong
What makes me happy
makes it so I don't move along
The thoughts that make me upset
Get me further in the end
I wish I liked myself
But it's time to no longer pretend

What hurts the most
Makes me feel the best
What makes me like myself
Is what makes me distressed

It's not that I hate my life
Life is what I value most above all
What I really hate is myself
I make myself fall

Intentionally or not
I still make myself fail
I am my own demise
Every action is to my own surprise

The more thought I put into decisions
The worse the outcome
The less I try
The higher the reward
The logic is failing and fading away
Much like my wanting to see a new day

So who is to say
What I should do
Who is to trust
When the ones that I trusted and loved is becoming few
No matter how open people claims to be
They're the ones that beginning to plot,
Trying to manipulate me
They say they knows me
I say not

Feeling makes things worse
And numbing never felt so right
My hopes and ambitions seem to be fading from sight

I can't seem to decipher
What is wrong from what is right
Who is the judge of this
How do they know if this is what I need tonight

Maybe I need some time to hate and some time to numb
Maybe I've lived and felt just a little too long
Only to be broken and hurt beyond belief
My happiness and liveliness stolen, yet no one will own up to thief

Friends become foes and back to friends once again
Everlasting mind games, manipulative men
I'm falling down, becoming my worst
Maybe this is what I need
To finally face every curse

 
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