I woke up today wondering how long this is going to last,
Feeling down and out, empty.
I look up at the moon, tears almost streaming from my eyes,
But I hold myself together, let them sink back inside me.
Endless thoughts are running through my head,
Of why? And what? And how?
I don't understand anything that's been going on.
Heart shattered. Mind splattered.
It's hard when there's nothing to keep you alive.
To hold you down and stop you from floating away.

I wake up each and every day,
And at the first spark of sunlight,
I feel this horrid loneliness filling me up.
Thinking and Thinking,
Mourning over something that I shouldn't care about,
Over gloomy yesterdays--a faded past, a broken past.
And I"m screaming and shaking,
Crying and punching the wall as hard as I can.
Knuckles burning more and more after every hit,
And it feels like her hands, the moon's rays of light,
Are wrapping around my neck, choking me,
Suffocating me.
And at the final instant when I can no longer
Bear to feel this way, I scream.
Scream as loud as I can, as long as I can.
And when I can no longer take it,
My thoughts finally turn to you.

Everything begins to calm.
No more battering rain pushing me down.
I feel serenity falling down on me.
It feels like you're standing right next to me,
Looking at me with those warm,brown eyes,
Loving and caring,
And I'm filled with something new.
Some small ray of hope that everything will be fine.
I close my eyes and try to envision you there;
Warm smile, soft heart.
I am more fond of you now than I was before.
I look for you in the crowd,
Seeing if I can catch a small glimpse of your fair skin.
And I wait each day for something from you,
I hope for a few words, a smile, maybe even a look.
And maybe I feel something for you,
And maybe it's sincere.
But I'm heart broken and I'm vulnerable.
And maybe I just need someone so I won't feel so alone.
but I'm heart broken and vulnerable.
And I don't know what to think or why.
I don't even know if I have the ability.
All I know is that I feel ok with you there.
And under the stars, I feel all the more calm.

But what exactly is the point,
Of feeling alive when I talk to you?
What's the point when no matter what,
I won't get anything in return?
No smiles or words, nothing from you.
And we only exchange a word when I engage you first.
But other than that, there's nothing else.
But it's ok, don't give me what I want.
It'll be a mistake on both our parts.
And I swear it's ok, Don't give me what I want.
I'll do fine on my own, waiting 'til the day,
That all my promises are broken.
 
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