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My Granny
02/08/2009 @ 1:21pm

My grandma is..different if I might say,
She tells jokes more than half of the day.
Once she was at a meeting and joked,
It was rather funny until the manager chocked.

Jumped up my granny and gave him a squeeze,
Coughed a few times and she left him to wheeze.
Said he was old and should be retired,
a week later a new manager was hired.

At the funeral of the poor man,
My granny told jokes like only she can.
People stood laughing and the priest all confused,
said a few words and left while he mused.

A few weeks later granny was back,
Looking for a sad man she could attack.
Dear doctor Brown hadn't a chance
When granny came round and asked him to dance.

Swirling away she planned out her joke,
I felt quite sorry for the scared looking bloke.
In the act of a swirl granny tripped,
Her high little heels had provided a slip.

In a second her foot had shot out,
Mr Brown landed on the floor too, no doubt.
She burst out laughing as she stared at his face,
Dr Brown never quite got over the disgrace.

Her next victim, an easy one too.
Was little Johnny who suffered from flue.
Acting to help she offered him a bed.
He woke up with linen stuck to him, enough said.

But after all granny's jokes she would say,
That she had done something useful in her day.
If it was asked what was good of her pranks,
She would say it keeps kids from robbing the banks.

True as it was granny was not very liked at all,
Everyone ignored her and wouldn't pick up her call.
So it then came that when granny died alone,
A joke was engraved on her headstone.

Granny needed nine guns, only had seven.
Now she is in heaven.

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