Mum, I know you love me,
But you love the bottle too.
You try so hard to drown the problems
That rage inside of you.
You hug me and you kiss me
And tell me everything's alright.
But just one drink is all you need
Before we begin to fight.
Why can't you just stop?
I think as I sit here on my bed.
All of these terrible thoughts of you
Are tearing through my head.
You're loving and you're caring
Until you take those poisenous sips.
Brutally you tear me apart,
With cruel words spewing from your lips.
Sometimes it gets too painful,
And I begin to wish you'd die
As I throw myself onto my bed,
Trying not to cry.
It's so hard to talk about it,
If I say it then it's true.
If I say nothing I can still believe
that you love me and I love you.
I dare not utter a word about it,
My problems can't compare
To those who walk around me
Living their very own nightmare.
So I try to forget it,
I try so very hard.
But in my mind I can't forget,
My heart is far too scared.
I begin to think that you are right
About the insults I receive.
That when you say its all my fault,
It's what you truly believe.
Your drinking hurts your marriage,
But you blame it all on me.
You tell me it's my fault,
Is there something I can't see?
You're supportive and stick up for me
In the rare moments you are sober.
But I smell the scotch when I come home
And know the happiness is over.
You wonder why I'm never home.
You can't see what you've done wrong.
You can't see the pain you've kept me in
For so very long.
I don't tell you the truth.
I don't tell you how it sounds.
I tell you I'm like an injured dog
Being taken to the pound.
At first you start to cry,
Until you begin to drink.
You yell at me, so clouded by rage.
Why can't you see the link?
It's a game we keep on playing
When we know it has no end.
We keep playing till it's all worn out
And the players, we can't mend.
I play the game so well
That your faults I can ignore.
I tell myself that you love me,
But I know you love the bottle more
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