all you've ever been handed is pain
the happiness (do you really want to be happy) you strive for few and far
between the blood
and your eyes are closed as you stare out the window of your bruised mind
afraid to open them
what more suffering could touch your soul if you give it a doorway
an enticing sliver of metal, stained brown from the last time
it reflects the moon
your lips form the words whic have been spoken before
by someone else like you (me)
"come to me, my crimson crime"
your skin opens to the blade's loving touch
fluids flow, brilliant and hot, release
it's like sex
you move towards the corner
shove your back against the wall, like he used to do
your arms snake and fly up above your head as though he hold you there
the blood from the newly reopened wounds streams downward
it feels like his tongue
your lips curve into a lucsious smile
your nipples are hard
you wait for the moment when foreplay ends and the delicious intensity
begins
you wait
maybe you wait for hours maybe its only seconds
maybe years
you would've waited forever if reality hadn't reached out his
bitter hand and slap you across your tear-soaked cheek
your eyes open and pain floods in like the points of a thousand arrow
driving to their mark in your broken heart
you cry as you finally see him before you
his eyes are closed
he does not see you
soundless screams erupt from your mouth and mutely you shout and punch and
hate that you love him
but he cannot feel you he cannot understand
the temporary anger you feel is spent
your tears fall, black and acidic
as painful as icey realization
your eyes close, enter a living coma in which everything is the way you want
and he is not blind
the cards float beofre you like messengers from the Mother
but you don't want to believe them
you refuse to believe Her
all you've ever been given is everything you don't want
suddenly he's gone
he walks by your window
he tries to look in
but he can't see
somehow you won't let him in
you don't see that he has pain too
wrapped in your world of colorful fantasy
hand in hand with your grey visions of truth
where life is right as rain
or as terrible as you can make it
you think you're the only one...
i was there too, you forget
i'm not like them
i understand
i prevailed over the same thing you are fighting
i pulled myself from the hole i was in
because i wanted to because i didn't like the pain my pain was causing
those i love
(and what does that say about you)
my love story ended without the love i thought i wanted but with a
friendship i couldn't have otherwise expected
he doesn't want to hurt you
J****...
(no names here for those written about are not properly represented)
you're not the only one with the pain
but you like the depression (dont you)
it sets you apart, gives you an excuse
when will you see that im here to help you
he's here to help you
just not the way youd like it
when will you let go
i promise you'll get so much more out of life
life you won't feel forced to live
why do you slap my hand away
why do you wait still
give him time
give him space
why won't you accept me, Ash*****, Lin****
no one but him
he won't come for you the way you want
he may look at you differently but not with less love
and you can't see that
you refuse to see it

you could be so much more...
the waste you are letting yourself become makes me sick to think of...
 
Copyright © unhingedwitch, All Rights Reserved