The glint of the blade
So cold, and sharp
So close to my skin
My eyes flash to a place on the wall
And my mind thinks of only you
My thoughts retrace your every step through my life
I feel the pain you caused anew,
The blade cuts deep,
One
My thoughts flash only momentarily to the pain
But I’m used to it by now
They trace their way back to you
Till all I can see is your face
And all I can think is
I’m not good enough for you
The blade returns, another slit
Two
The pain is less, more sting than actual hurt
I watch the blood rush over my arm, and feel relieved
I’m still not good enough, nor will I ever be
For anyone, or anything
I look at my wrist, and then shake my head
And the blade draws near once more
Slicing deeper than before
Three
Who would miss this pathetic excuse of a teenager?
Who would regret this loss of a sham life?
I may sound like I’m selfish, only wanting attention
But if you didn’t ask, I wouldn’t tell.
Your face again, I can’t get it out of my mind
I see you with other girls
And it kills me
Even though I have to remember we are just friends
That my dreams are just that…fantasies
The blade falls one final time
My eyes shut tight, but my hand knows the way
Four
I lean against the wall, looking at the blood
Captivated by its beauty
I see you standing over me
But it’s just an illusion
You say you care, but do you truly?

 
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