staring into nothing...
all around me going black,
a small light flickers...
i close my eyes,
look around me on the inside...
memories attack me!
bombarding me all at once,
the first one to hit me is of
YOU...
how you used to hold me close,
how you whispered i love you in my ear
how you would kiss me and i could feel your love right there...
o how i long it to be again!
the sweet memories of you and me...
your standing at my door...my heart shattered by you weeks ago, i don't
know why you are here...to cause me more pain?! you just wanted to swing by
you say--i wish you hadn't! i'm torn up all over again by every
word you speak...looking at you tortures my soul! in your arms i long to be!
but never again can i be--not even a good-bye kiss was there...just a few
simple words spoken...
more and more memories are coming out...
im sitting in my room thinking of you--knife at my throat wondering what i
did wrong! my arms are bleeding, the pain is overwhelming me!...
im staring at my mom her yelling and screaming penetrating my
core--ignoring her is what i do best as i look at her but never once do i
hear a word she says...
i'm cold and alone in a hospitl with a tube down my throat and an
IV in my arm...i call out to my mommy but she is not there...im to little to
be giving that much medcine the doctor says,im drifting back to sleep...
my sister is born--HORRAY! i hold her close hopeing she will be ok--her
heart is not well they tell me-she has a whole in it and needs special
attention--my mommy is very sick as well--they dont know if she will make
it...
suddenly i realize i am twitching in my seat. everyone is still doing
their work not seeming to notice-- my eyes ease open and its dark with
that little light again...i feel the cold begin to take me...
then as if brought back to life, your standing there holding my hand in
the hospital bed--i don't know what happened but i know you're
there-my best freind-you promise everything will be ok and you wont leave me
alone...

 
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