Late in the evening
As the family sits downstairs and
Does family things,
I take myself to the confinement of my computer.
A sadness overwhelms me
Not a crying sadness,
But a depressed sadness.
It's a sadness that makes me smile
And it makes me think of the perfect girls
With the perfect bodies and the
Perfect boyfriends and the perfect lives.
Hatred runs down my cheek and
Apathy dances in my mind
Music blares next to my ear as I
Think of the happy days.
The happy days were filled of
Unbroken homes, lots of friends,
Perfect grades and not a care in the world.
The happy days didn't contain anorexia,
And they didn't contain guilty conciences
And they sure as hell didn't contain
This much pain.
I close my eyes and clear my mind
As a mantra goes through my head again:
Close your eyes and count to ten,
And fall apart and start again.
Close your eyes and count to ten,
Start again, start again.
My mind relaxes as I let my
Guilty consience pour out all of my
Fears and tears, as hard as the rain on the
Rooftops in fall.
The moon comes out to comfort me,
But I look the other way when she smiles.
It's not that easy to be mean,
It's not easy to be nice, either.
You see, I could be as reasonable
As your neighbor or your brother,
But it is just so hard
When I don't want to be.
So, as I conclude my evening and the
Moon starts to die and the harsh sun
Takes over the sky,
I finish my writing of the
Late-summer's night.
 
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