Take Me Away
I need something to captivate
something to take me away
the same CDs get old
as I outgrow their words
my need for discovery
release
air
my heart feels like
it's going to dig a hole in my chest
and jump out
maybe to tell me to take better care of it
everything that I cared for so deeply and lush
to me now seems empty and shallow
another creation of commercialism
no feelings attached
just stupid greed
and fucking money
Take me away
back into my fathomless blue
where everything is passion
and where passion is everything
where my cats live forever
where someone loves my mother
like she needs
like she bleeds
I'm drowning
drowning
drowning
drowning on the words
that slip so easily from Ani
the honesty queen
into the soul of me
through my being
and into the cattle
spreading through the pastures
I'm slipping away
in my beautiful prison
feet cold and tired
I’m sick of performing this majik act
when no one can begin to understand
the reasons for the rabbit in my hat
well it's certainly not a cat
I just need to dance, I think
trance myself in endless movement
the onlookers gawking
at untouchable me
wishing in the back
that they weren't a whore
convincing themselves
that they love their crack
and crying in bed alone
in the morning
after the meat slipped home
somehow falling short
on this perilous fight
so they go get another
to make up for Mr. Lastnight
Tori, I want to be back in your clouds
I want one on my tongue
wetting me
quenching me
filling me
with extra-ultra-downy-all-around-me
softness
smoothing the edges
between sanity
and insanity
where I want to live forever
finding music in the mist
in the mix
finding everything
like cats that live forever
in my soul
damn, he saw it all
me clinging to the wall
my brutal rocky fall
and finally my call
a perfect beast
that watched it all with emerald eyes
that now see soil
my token of sanity
who went the other way
at the end of the tunnel
giving me something to clutch
in the unforgiving darkness
sleek and wrapped around my heart
like vines so willing
leaving behind
a monument to loom
with the others
I feel like Manhattan
my skyline is filling

I hope my rising seas
don't drown it all out
like Mother Earth
taking back herself
Or maybe I do
like me taking back myself
Oh, and She's definitely a woman
since we must
and I'm definitely neither
if you must
if you want to know the Truth
we are all mere dust
with a soul so large
so small
so far reaching
yet so contained
or maybe "I'm just speaking for me", right Ani?
I'm going to just keep jabbing myself
with this ice pick until
I hit a nerve
That nerve
make me curve
bring me around
back into my handsome grace
back behind my truest face
back away from this lonesome place
-

©1998 Joshua Swaim
September 11, 2001 – My Skyline is falling.

 
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