You think you know me
You think you understand me
You have No idea
If you could understand what it feels like
To have the world against you
An eleven year old child wishing she was dead
Depressed can’t begin to describe the way I felt then
The way I feel now
I was raised to believe in unconditional love
I was raised to believe that Jesus/God loved me
What do you do when the people who bore you
Hate you
What do you do when you pray
And the answer is always no
What do you do when you feel like no one likes you
When you feel like no one cares
When no one understands
In a world full of hate
A nineteen year female child
Will she be added to the teen suicide rate
This I can not bare anymore
He said “ask and you shall receive”
Perhaps that was another lie I was thought to believe
In two more years
I, you will no longer see
So wheatear I’m six feet deep
Or on the other side of the world
Don’t cry for me
When you come to my funeral
Don’t bring flowers
Don’t write poems
Don’t give speeches
Don’t shed tears
And most importantly
Don’t ACT like you cared
A fourteen year old child
Told she was a mistake
Perhaps you should’ve had an abortion
Perhaps you should have put me up for adoption
Perhaps I would’ve been saved from the pain I feel now
As I look back over my life
I can not remember one moment where I was 100% happy
As I think of the many times I’ve contemplated suicide
As I remember that accident
I wonder why WAS I wearing a seat belt
Why did the Lord keep me from taking my life
What has He planned for me
But alas I no longer care
Like 50 Cent said
“I don’t cry no more
I don’t look to the sky no more
Have mercy on me
Have mercy on my soul”
I put on a smile for the world to see
But inside I’m dead
Dead soon I will be
Morn not the child that passes away
Pray for those left to stay
Feel no pity for me
Feel no sorrow for me
For twenty I may not see
But at least I’ll have that moment of happiness
Before I pass away
Knowing that it’s all over
And the pain I will no longer feel
I’m sorry if I never lived up to your expectations
I’m sorry that my best was never enough
I’m sorry that I am such a disappointment
But I tried
But try I can no longer do
So Father, In the name your Son,
I put my life in your hands
And leave my soul to you
As I lay me down to sleep
Tomorrow I pray
I will not see
 
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